A feeling i cant describe.

Its like numbing your whole heart and having a dagger stabbing right back at the same pathetic spot, where it is at its weakest. You see blood splattering out in every direction, your hands slippery with all the stains but somehow still gripping the handle of the dagger. You dont feel the pain. Numb with sorrow and neverendingness. Yet in the end, you are still stabbing yourself, even when you know you're already helplessly dead. That's how i feel. Emo? No...more like sorrow. How long i'm i supposed to wait? it cant be a day. cant be a week. not even a month. Maybe a year? 3 years? Can i have at least a single drop of hint for a single drop of hope. You've asked me not to give up. You are the ONLY one to ask me play back my bball. You are the one giving me hope. So now can you give me just one hope to make my wait end? Either good or bad. I wanna know. End my sorrow...just to either give me more sorrow or to shower me with endless smiles infront of my handphone, my computer or infront of your face.